What Is This?

I’ve gone to church all my life, from the earliest of memories. I’ve always been and remain committed to the church, both the local and the universal Church. I enjoy it, and believe God has incredible purpose for it here on Earth.

Yet over many years, something began growing in me… a few stray thoughts here and there, a few unanswered questions, a few confusing conversations, and the slightest trace of a gut feeling… that something doesn’t make sense here.

I don’t write as someone who has thinks he knows something. I am an unqualified layman. I write more as a junkie sitting amidst fellow addicts, feebly raising his head and mumbling through the fog of a crippling high, “Hey guys, I know the dealer assures me otherwise, but maybe this isn’t as harmless as we thought. Maybe this isn’t good.”

At the end of the day this is just a collection of thoughts I needed to try and put into words. They’re flames that have to be expelled lest they continue to build up pressure inside of me like a volcano.

Yet perhaps just as important to understand when reading this is to know what this blog is NOT:

1. This is not an instructional website. I am not trying to lay out a “How To” guide as to how churches ought to run. I am a layman, and not qualified or presumptive enough to attempt such a thing. I don’t have all of this figured out, which brings me to the next point:
2. I am not necessarily right. These are just thoughts that have been burning within me for years. There may be times where I sound passionate or convinced of these things (and some of them I am), yet I am well aware that I could be wrong. After all, God has not made me a Pastor or church planter, and it’s very possible that it is because I don’t know what I am talking about.
3. This is NOT meant to confront church leaders or condemn anyone. It is not my heart or place to accuse Pastors or tell them how they’re doing their job wrong. Indeed, I truly believe that there are many Pastors out there faithfully serving God in ways that look very differently than how I would do it. That being said, I believe there is still value in rethinking these things and making efforts to bring our thought patterns closer into alignment with God’s. If a Pastor is fully convinced in his own mind that God is pleased with his work, I would not want to deter him (and according to Scripture, if a Pastor is fully convinced and doing it fully for God, then he probably IS pleasing God). I write these things because I am personally not convinced that church as we know it is exactly what God had in mind.
4. This is not mean to start a revolution. I’m not trying to overthrow church and start some rebellion against the status quo… God does that sort of thing on His own time. I’m far from the voice of the people, and in truth I am writing these thoughts out because most of the time when I try to explain them I just end up feeling crazy. I find it extremely difficult to accurately convey what I’m thinking and how it all works together in short conversations.
5. This is not about the specific church that I attend. This is bigger than my church, and the last thing I would ever want to do is some sort of underhanded indirect attack on our leadership, whom I love and believe to be faithful, Godly men.
6. Finally, this is not a blog for the haters of church. In truth, I love the Church dearly and desire to see it grow into the glorious thing God had in mind. I am driven to write these things expressly because I care so much.

So if you’ve found your way to this blog, I welcome you. I pray that even if nothing else is accomplished you will find something useful here and grow closer to God through it.